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Two reasons for lack of confidence

Updated: Dec 15, 2022

I have heard numerous clients telling me that they want to do this and that, they have ideas, they just don't have the confidence it takes. Their lack of confidence is keeping them stuck in the dream world. They can see their future but they are waiting to feel totally secure in their ability to reach it. Other clients will start the work but stop. They encountered an obstacle that they had not foreseen. Other times they try something and fail, and that tells them that it's over.



Why do these things happen to some of us? We have dreams and wishes. When will we have enough confidence to go after them?

The answer can be split into two parts.


The first part is fear.


We, human beings, are wired to resist change, especially if we are going into something unknown to us. The unknown represents danger and threat to our safety. "Let's just not go there." Fear is not a compact emotion either, it has layers, can affect several areas of life and can really take a bite out of our self-confidence, where you question if you are good enough to do what you want to do or able enough to handle downfall.


The second part of lack of confidence is the waiting for confidence to come before taking action.


I'm not saying it never happens. If a child is not confident she can ride a bike to the ice-cream parlor but her friends are telling her she can do it, it seems confidence came to her and helped her ride the bike. However, if you are an adult, chances are your friends and family aren't going to show up in your house and cheer you on to start that cupcake business you are dreaming of, saying you will be okay and that they will be there by your side.


If you have those cheerleaders, you probably aren't reading this post!


The problem with these two thinking patterns is that the fear won't go away on its own nor will the confidence suddenly show up and remain with you the whole way.


If we look at the stories of successful people we notice that they also have fears and reservations, but they don't let that be the obstacle so they take action. The more you do towards your goals, the less mental, emotional and spiritual space is left for the fear and doubt to creep in. Then the more you get accomplished, the more confident you feel.


So yes, the secret to becoming more confident is to take action. You can choose what actions will take you closer to your dreams. It could be making cold calls, writing sentences, trying recipes, taking photographs, talking to people, enrolling in a course, walking on the treadmill or lifting weights for 10 minutes.


As you start doing, remind yourself why you want to do this in the first place. Feel your happiness and fulfillment as you do it, remember the end goal and believe that it is there, just waiting for you.


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