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Is comparison killing your confidence?

What is confidence? It's the feeling or consciousness of one's power or of reliance on one's circumstances; a faith or belief that one will act in a right, proper, or effective way; the quality of state of being certain. This, according to Merriam-Webster.   Pretty words, but doesn't mean much unless you don't have it. 




When in your life have you felt confident?


How did you show it? 


One reason confidence is hard to come by is because of comparison. We are always comparing ourselves to others, even if subconsciously. We learned this behavior early on, when our parents said, "you should behave like your cousin Ann", or the teacher who said, "your grade is worse than 60% of the class!". 


Now we are adults and still compare ourselves, our Instagram stories, our clothes, house, jobs, salaries... and somehow we are always lacking. How is that possible? We usually compare ourselves with those who have the "ideal" situation, bigger cars, more followers, more travels.  Somehow, the fact that we went to Disney seems to not be as important as that colleague who took the family on a Disney cruise around the world.  How is your confidence then?


Stop comparing what you know of you, your feelings and emotions to other people's exteriors. You don't know what they are thinking, feeling or going through. (Yes, we all do mind-reading and know exactly what they think of us, don't we?)  That woman who looks so composed in the boardroom may be going to an ugly divorce. That girl who just got a promotion might struggle with major depression. We simply don't know other people's insides. 


What would happen to your confidence if you looked back at where you were a few years ago and noticed how far you've come?  It's the feeling or consciousness of one's power or of reliance on one's circumstances. Can you feel your power? Where were you when you started?  Where are you now? What obstacles have you overcome? 


If you want to compare, compare where you are now with where you started your journey. Now that's a fair comparison.  Your confidence will thank you for it.

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