Life is made of choices. We make choices the whole day long. Some may seem insignificant like if you'll wear a coat today or what to eat for breakfast. Others may seem like the decision of a lifetime! Can you imagine anxiety questions like "Do I change careers?" or "Should I marry that person?" create?
The human brain likes to keep the status quo because we are creatures of habit. Change means we will probably go into uncertain and unknown territory, and that could be dangerous. It also means we'll need more focus and energy to learn and adapt. All these things might bring some pretty uncomfortable feelings. Many times, when we have the option to make a change or the need to make a decision, we hesitate. There are three reasons why that happens: If you guessed fear as the first reason, you are correct. We fear the unknown, the uncertainty of the new situation, we fear failure and, unfortunately, we fear what others will think of us. The second reason for not making a choice is figuring out the best option. We think of the pros and cons, we make lists, we research, ask friends, family members, pets, and even strangers. Once we start considering options we even might get overwhelmed. The third reason is lack of confidence that we will be okay, no matter what. This lack of confidence could paralyze you from reaching your dream or your full potential.
What we don't realize is that not choosing is a choice in itself.
One of the things we can't bring back in life are opportunities passed by. (I'll share the other three another time) Later, we regret the fact that we didn't make a choice when we could. The truth is, we did. We made the choice to not take charge of our life, to not take a risk, instead we chose to give in to fear that it would be too difficult for us to handle or that there could have been a wrong choice.
The truth is that we are here to experience life, however we want it. There are no right or wrong choices. When a client of mine asks if they made the right choice, I ask, "according to whom?" If you chose the blue over the yellow, you will go on to the blue path. If after some time you don't like blue anymore, you can just choose to change to green. I can hear you saying, "Chris, it's not that simple!" There are choices in life that are more risky, but please notice that nothing in life stays the same. If you chose to change careers, great. You will be able to try something you have always wanted. If you chose not to change careers, it's okay too. If in another five years you realize that you are still not satisfied, you can change then, but at least you made a choice based on who you were at that moment in life and the information available to you. Take a moment to listen to who you are and what you really want. Then go for it.
By not choosing, we give our power away to life circumstances or to other people to make that decision for us. When you make a choice, it means you are in charge of your life. If this is my one life to live, I choose to live it my way, to get to the end saying, "wow, what a ride!" What do you choose?